Lost

I speak to my demons,
when they offer their hand in dark:
I curse my every scar,
and the ones who gave those scars:
I scream about antidotes,
but sometimes talk poison:
My want, my hope, my actions,
are parted unlighted universes:
I see the sun;
I see the moon,
But I walk to drown.
My broken empty sinking heart,
chooses to play fear with my thoughts:
I dream of rubies and opals,
but settle for the rocks:
I've queened their every blame game,
but still bleed when they throw swords:
I put them before me,
and despise the truth they cannot be me:
I scream, "No More Dark Dreams",
but laugh in the whispers of abandoned castle's bawn:
I dream of the sky,
when I can worthily look at it:
Damn it when it doesn't comes to me;
But the truth is, I couldn't walk towards it:
I let them burn my garden,
and in return burn their rose;
But when I burn their garden,
they ash down my home.
Be patient they say,
You will get everything you deserve:
But,
What do I deserve?
In what hells should I fight?
In which heavens should I scream?
Where is mine?
Nowhere is mine.